Put A Little Love In Your Heart

I've never really been in love before. I've never felt its pleasures or pains or deep devotion. But, when I hear the beautiful, tragic lyrics of the song "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" By Al Green, I feel like I have. I remember the first time I heard it. My grandmother was having her weekly card game and I, the little adult that I was, wanted to hang with the older crowd. So, I quietly sat on the floor near them, observing and trying to remain inconspicuous. I watched my grandfather get up and change the record. And there it was, my introduction to Al Green. Through all the noise of the gathering, I heard nothing else but the music. That was my summer that year. Laying on the floor, listening to my Grandfather's records and feeling like I finally understood Love. Motown, and golden oldies expressed nothing but the absolute epitome of the word. Even as a preteen, I had a flare for the dramatic, haha. Sometimes it feels like I learned the way I want Love to be from movies and the way Love really is from music.

Fast foward years and years later and here I am in Brooklyn, still sitting on the floor and listening to records.When I heard the amazing Al Green would be playing in NYC, I didn't hesitate to give him and Ticketmaster my hard earned money. Usually when a show comes around that I wanna see, I prowl  around and try to recruit lucky individuals to share the show experience with me. For some reason, this time, I didn't really mind getting one ticket. This was something for me. Do you have a Concert Bucket List? Ya know, people you wanna see perform before you go to that great Ice Cream parlor in the sky? Well, I do, and I wasn't going to miss the chance to see one of my list patrons. Carpe Diem and all that :). Honestly, you know how the show turned out. IT WAS AMAZEBALLS! Absolutely incredible.


The opening act was a cool and funky cat by the name of Charles Bradley. Haha, I honestly don't know how to express the sheer joy this man brought to the audience. He was a combination of James Brown, Randy Watson from "Coming To America" and Prince (back in his "Get Off" days). I couldn't even record a performance because I was so caught up in the crazy.

 The fun starts at about 2:45...

After Charles Bradley brought the house down, it was time for the one and only Rev. Al Green. It was like watching a Disney character come to life. I couldn't believe he was real. He came out, just a smooth as can be and started handing out roses to women in the audience. Then the music started and it was just me, my glass of wine and the lyrics. It amazed me how many different types of people loved Al. It was probably the most diverse group of people I have seen at one show. And we were all there for the same reason, to hear our favorite songs from the voice of the man who was partially responsible for the baby boom of 1972. His voice is so classic and commanding and he sounded better live than coming out through my speakers. I enjoyed every second of it. I wish there was more that I can say about it but, if you are a fan, you know I didn't nothing but spend 2 straight hours in a groove induced haze. My videos kind of sucked so... unfortunately, uploading them would be pointless. But, just so you get my drift.....

I enjoyed all this music while sitting behind a woman who told me this was her 2nd Al Green concert. Her first was in 1974. Wow. I wonder if I will be like that with Muse. Old and gray and still pumping my fist in the air to "Unnatural Selection". Hmmm.....

Pudge Watch 2012

Hi mom, I'm a vegan. Can you hear the laughter? I did. Yes, I am still eating mostly vegan. Its been interesting. Not as hard as I thought yet, not as easy as it was in the beginning. I think my body went from "Ok, she's just doing this for a small period of time", to realizing "Holy bananas, she means to make this a lifestyle change". Its starting to become harder and my body really wants to resist. I've of course backslid a couple of times. But, to be honest, I really don't feel all that bad. Going from eating meat and dairy and hardcore junk food everyday of your life to eating a little meat or dairy every couple weeks or so is a pretty awesome accomplishment. No one said this would be easy. That's what I keep telling myself when I want to bang my head against the wall. My weight is being really stubborn right now. Although the scale tells me I have lost weight, my image in the mirror still says "Hi! My name is round tummy, and I'm not going anywhere". Patience. I have to have patience. I feel the change in me. The visual just has to catch up. I have to say my 2nd biggest support system has been coming from the blogs on Tumblr. When you see someone who was once 300lbs now wearing a bikini and doing Insanity, it motivates you. Reading the things that those people went through, I know that I'm not alone. They get it. One of them is even a vegan and she puts up awesome recipes. It reassures me. It's possible to do this. Patience. 

Oh well kids, I just really wanted to share my concert going experience with everyone. Fall is ready to began and thus starts Harvest season or so a good friend told me. There are a lot of really amazing things in the works for me. I can feel them flowing through my motivation to workout, I can feel them coming out of my fingers when I write a script, I can feel the energy of it when I meditate. I'm really interested to see what kind of creative changes will happen in the next few month.  I'll keep ya posted, as always. Until next time. ....

Top 5 Favorite Movie/TV Scenes Featuring An Al Green Song

1). Notting Hill - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart

         Hugh Grant's character finds his lady love with her boyfriend (which he didn't know she had). And then he has to see her everywhere because she's a mega famous Actress. Le Sigh. 

2).  Munich - Let's Stay Together

        Ugggg! I can't find this scene to post. It's my favorite scene in Munich. Two enemies stuck in a safe house listening to the radio. They both go back and forth, changing the station because one doesn't like what the other one picks, blah blah. The both get in each others face, nose to nose. Finally, before tensions mount, Daniel Craig stumbles on a station playing  "Lets Stay Together". The both eye each other, smile and turn away from each other walking in opposite directions, back to their corners. They found comman ground in the Green. Classic.

3). On The Line - I'm So Tired Of Being Alone

      A member of Nsync on a train, singing Al Green. Of course I adored this scene.

4). Sex And The City - Can't Get Next To You

       I love this song and I loved this episode. A nice, lovely gentleman persuades Carrie to cut a rug. Sassy.

 Awesomeness starts at 6:40

5). Love And Basketball - Love and Happiness

       Ok, so the opening isn't exactly a giant scene but, when those first few chords of "Love and Happiness" start and you see that New Line Cinema logo, you just get excited. Plus that song sums up the movie perfectly.

Love Always, 

   The girl who is ending this blog because "New Girl" is on.

Downton Kiki

... 16, 17, 18...19. 19. That's how many boxes I currently have sitting in my empty bedroom in Bushwick. All of the packed. All of the waiting to go on a new adventure. I was able to yank these lovely cardboard wonders from the grocery store around the corner. It saved me from going around New York, stalking everyone's recycling bends. 19. Its amazing how my entire life fits into 19 boxes. At 28 years old, I thought there would be more. I thought I would have more things that were important to me. HA! On the other hand, while packing my 19 boxes, I didn't understand why there wasn't less. "Why do I have so much SH*T?!" This question was asked about 50 times while my roommate and I were packing up. But, there it is... all taped and bubble wrapped and ready to start another new chapter in my life. This chapter is titled "Getting your own place in Fort Greene".

With my roommate of 6 years moving to Inwood, Manhattan with her awesome Manfriend and me moving to Fort Greene, Brooklyn with my awesome record collection, it was finally time to detach myself from the hip of one of my best friends. It was kind of like the last scene in the opening credits of 90210 (circa the 90's).  Ya know, when Kelly and Donna are holding hands... walking in opposite directions... holding on until finally, with a smile and a twirl, they let go. The theme song ends  and a new episode begins.

Did they seriously believe they could pass off Andrea as a teenager?

Looking for a new place to live in NYC is about as much fun as banging your head against a brick wall. Besides searching for the right apartment in your price range, you also have to worry about location, the true vibe of the place, and... weirdos scamming for dates disguised as a "roommate wanted" listing. Seriously, it happens. You see a listing for a roommate... not too expensive... great neighborhood... basically, everything looks perfect. Then you click on the pictures for the place only to get this:

This guy does NOT look like a 1 bedroom in Bed Stuy.

No Me Gusta... at all. Lucky for me, fate slipped in a wonderful opportunity to live by myself in Fort Greene Brooklyn. Fast forward a few weeks and here I am... standing in my very own tiny box no bigger than my old dorm room in college. Actually, I think its smaller. Other downfalls? Well, the lady down the hall from me likes to chat (or banshee shout... it's really your perception) on her cell phone in the hallway. She either wants everyone in on her convo about Tia Mowry's baby or she just doesn't have any reception in her apt. Also, the hallways on my floor kind of smell like old....... something. Old lady... old pasta? I don't know what it is but it's got an aged quality to it. Even with that being said, I am falling in love with me new tiny compartment.

My Little Kingdom

Yes, it's tiny. But, to be honest, I really enjoy the simplicity in that. I got rid of things I didn't need and now my apartment is just decorated with things that really matter to me. That make me smile looking at them. Just the bare essentials. Simple, relaxed, colorful, romantic... me. Right now, that's all I need.  The weird smelling hallway? Well, it really doesn't matter. What matters is what I smell when I open the door to my apt. Fresh peaches with a hint of the wild flowers that I got for myself at the flea market on Saturday. And old cray cray cell phone chick? Yeah she chatters a lot but, I've also discovered that her name is Renna and she loves talking to her twin sister who lives in Seattle. Its the only thing that helps her get over feeling home sick. She's friendly as can be. There's also a lady that lives above me who practices dancing for a salsa club she's apart of. So at least twice a week, I can hear the sounds of Buena Vista Social Club above me for about an hour. This may annoy some. To me its kinda fun. Its usually around the time that I like to cook so, you can imagine the serious dancing I get into while chopping my veggies. This place has so much character. Its nice to add a little of myself to it.

My neighborhood is pretty much amazeballs. Fort Greene is one of the most beautiful places in Brooklyn. I love how I feel here. It's filled with cute little coffee shops and boutiques and enough side walk cafes (with lanterns) to rival the most romantic of novels. Sometimes walking around, you forget that you are in the busiest city in the world. It pretty quiet without being overly boring. Not as eccentric  and artsy as Williamsburg but, still filled with an air of creativity that only places in NYC can give. Plus there are houses! Actual huge, beautiful, vine covered homes with porches and yards. It takes you off guard when you walk around the corner and see a grand house with the Chrysler building barely visible across the river in Manhattan. Fort Greene just feels like an actual neighborhood. Like you could live there for a long time. Sometimes in the city, things feel temporary. Your apartment or your job. Things that you are just holding on to until something better comes along. This place feels like an area where people actually settle down for the long haul. I like it. I like the security guard at the first floor of my building. I like my mailbox. I like my rooftop view. I like where I am right now. Sitting here on the floor typing this blog with my bowl of grapes, Otis Redding spinning on the record player... how can I not be content?

Well, the Otis Redding record stopped. Hmmm I think I'll listen to Elvis next. No one will care. It's my place. Hehe, I can do what I want.

Pudge Watch 2012

So, I'm kinda going through a separation right now. After thoughts and research and discussions, I thought it would be best if meat, dairy and I took a bit of a break. That's right folks. I've turned Vegan on ya. Please don't frown at the screen or laugh at me (which is actually a reaction I received after telling someone of my diet change). The decision was made after I watched a movie on Netflix instant called "Forks Over Knives". *Sigh* stupid movie. It's the movie's fault... and Stacey Cook... jk :).  The truth is after declaring my war on weight last year, I've been doing a pretty ok job. I stepped up my exercise and tried to watch what I ate. But, it wasn't enough. I still felt sluggish and I just needed to try harder to take care of myself. When you have a family with a huge history of diabetes and heart disease, seeing that you have high blood pressure and hearing yourself wheeze after climbing the subway steps can scare the hell out of you. I don't want that for myself. I want more. And since I was having trouble with food and balancing healthy and unhealthy foods in my life, I was in the search for something else... another solution. The movie "Forks Over Knives" was suggested to me. I did NOT want to watch this film. I didn't want to sit for a hour and have some loser tell me what I should not eat. But, I watched it. And for some reason... that movie hit me like a baseball bat. It made sense to me. I don't know why and I couldn't believe it but, I found myself wanting to follow a whole foods/plant based plan. Everything just clicked for me. I decided then and there "Ok Makia, just give this a shot. Give it 30 or so days". Its like my body just followed my decision. Its been exactly a week now. I'm already noticing a difference in my body. I know it sounds ridiculous and trust me, 2 weeks ago I would have said the same thing.  Its not as hard as I thought it would be. I'm eating healthy foods and I'm learning a lot of new recipes. I think I only had one day last week where I had my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery around the corner from me.  I gave dagger eyes to this lady sitting at the table eating a chocolate cupcake with raspberry icing. It was like seeing your recent ex boyfriend with a new lady. But, I pulled it together and went home for some vegan ice cream (which is delicious by the way). I don't know if this will be my diet forever. My ultimate goal is to learn balance when it comes to all food. But, I do know that for now... I feel like a Champion. I'm gonna see this through for a while because it's working. It's working and I am so proud of myself for doing what needs to be done. I'm NOT looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving though. It's not just the food. I'm more nervous about my family's reaction to me going vegan, meditating and doing yoga. Sheesh.... that's gonna be fun to explain... especially to my uncle June.

Until Next Time.....

5 Movies About Moving

1). Moving - Richard Pryor stars as a mass transit engineer who moves his family from New Jersey to Bosie Idaho. I love love love this movie. Its my favorite Richard Pryor.

2). The Money Pit - Tom Hanks +Shelley Long + A terrible purchase = side splitting laughter. Trust me.

3). Footloose - You move from a big city to a small town where dancing and music are against the law? WTF?!

4). Toy Story - *sniff, sniff* I can't. I'm crying just thinking about it.....

5). The Lost Boys - Before you move to a new town, make sure it isn't plagued with mysterious disappearances and vampires with leather jackets. Just sayin'.

Love Always,
     The girl who's getting healthier by the day

If You're FREE....

A year and a half ago, a good friend told me that the first year in NYC is the hardest to cross over. That first year, things are beautiful and magical and new and shinny and you want to engage yourself in all of it. You'll become greedy. Greedy for everything the city has to offer, from entertainment to culture to glamor and the possibility sizzling around you. All these things will come with a price that you are all to willing to pay. So, with stars in your allured eyes, you skip around from one event to another throwing down cash like Damon Waynes in "Mo Money" just trying to buy up every bit of life experience this charming city will sell you. I mean, what the Hay right? You are getting memories. You are becoming a New York glamorista. You are LIVING! Then, a year later, you notice that your bank account is looking a little.....skinny. Hmmm, where did most of your savings go? Yeah you went to the theater but, that was research... motivation for your career choice. Yeah you went out to see a couple of concerts but, you have to enjoy life sometimes. Suddenly it will hit you. You are addicted to the potent drug that is the city life and not only did it consume all of your money, it also leaves you with a yearning... you want another Big Apple hit. When my friend warned me of the first year slump, I took her advice. I put it in the back of my mind promising to not get caught up. Boy... was I an idiot :/.

You might as well stamp "Cliche" across my face baby because I fell for it. When I looked at my bank account a couple of months ago, my first thought was "Somebody better call the LAW because I was a victim of fraud... identity theft... SOMEONE STOLE MY VISA!" But alas, my visa was resting in my wallet and I realized that the only thing that stole my money was my own stupidity. Ahhh the pangs and bangs of growing up. Gotta love it. I was now enjoying another wonderful life experience called " Being A Struggling Artist". After the words "Well Sh*t!" pathetically left my lips and I stopped giving stink eye to my reflection in the mirror, I decided to re budget my cash flow so that I could not only hold on to the money I had left, but also add more money to my savings... or as I like to call it, "Fattening up Hansel with goodies". 

 

  Not This Hansel...

This Hansel. Wow... That story was really not right at all.

So here I am now, writing to you as a sassy broad on a budget. Now that most of my money is going towards making my savings account look like it was brought to you by Chris Nolan, I can no longer just up and delight  myself in costly activities. Balance is the key word I've learned. I don't have to confine myself my Bushwick apartment but, I did have to learn to say NO to myself sometimes. Saying no for me is a tug of war of emotions sometimes. I know I should save money, but I also don't want to miss out on those "life memories". Back and forth, tug and pull between living and buyers remorse.  Plus, I had to learn to prioritize. Go out to eat every single day or get new headshots? Headshots duh!  Do I want to go to a concert or fly to NC to see my family and friends. Clearly the family and friends won over... Clearly the concert in competition was NOT Muse (j/k fam... I love you guys).  The important idea that I had to latch onto (and I am still working on keeping it in my head at times) is that there are fun times to be had all over this wonderful city without burning a hole in you pocket. Living the cheap life forces you to get a bit creative. The truth is, sometimes, it's kind of fun. You feel like a Goonie on a life changing quest for the FREE - $10 range entertainment treasure. Thus has been my life for the past couple of weeks. I've been on the hunt for Good Ol' Times that will leave me with money to spare and get me up and out of my room.

So here it is folks... the greatest hits of my limited dollars.  If you are planning on visiting NYC anytime soon, I suggest you check a few of these bad boys out. Low in cost but expensive in worth.

Grand Central Station Walking Tour

When: Whenever the FLIP you wanna

Cost: FREE

Fun-O-Meter: It hit about a 9 on the scale. I really enjoyed it!

Grand Central Walking Tour Info

Ah Grand Central Station. What an amazing landmark. I've seen it so many times in movies. It has this beautiful, romantic appeal to me. People going and arriving under the massive ceiling of stars... the sun streaming in through the windows hitting the clock tower just right. The place has so much history. Well, for the the grand old price of not a dang thang, you can have your very on walking tour of Grand Central Station. All you have to do is go to the Grand Central Terminal website, print out the walking tour facts and head on over. My roommate and I did this and it was tons of fun. Plus, you have the added bonus of people watching. Its a win win. Give it a shot!

Free Movie Summers

When: Pretty much everyday of the week

Cost: FREE... DUH.

Fun-O-Meter: Ummm free movies, outdoors... well obviously I give it like an 11.

During the Summers in NYC, you can pretty much expect the opportunity to see a free outdoor movie any night of the week. Love, love, love this. They usually show movies that greatly impacted my child-teenage heart. Nothing says "I love life" like seeing "Jurassic Park " on the big screen surrounded by people who love the movie just as much as you do. Last Wednesday, my roommate and I saw "Cruel Intentions" in MaCcareen Park. A blast isn't even enough of a description. Seriously, that movie use to make my heart pound and my eyes puff with tears. At the age of 28, I'm afraid that I am still affected by the song "Colorblind". When that scene came up I had to fan my eyeballs... like a loser. Just check online for the 2012 outdoor movie schedule and you are sure to find something that tickles your taste buds.

MTA Transit Museum

When: Tuesday - Sunday

Cost: $7

Fun-O-Meter: Surprisingly interesting. I went here thinking that I would get a little history, a little fun and the added bonus of staying out of the heat. But, learning about the subways and how NYC runs its transportation was really cool. Its located in an old subway station! My favorite part was going through all the old subway cars. The ones used in the early 1900's were so luxurious. It was interesting to see how they changed.

MTA Tranist Museum Info

Rockwood Music Hall

When: Every Night

Cost: Most of the shows are free but some cost. Check the website before heading over

Fun-O-Meter: Love this place. I've been alot since I've moved here and discovered heaps of new music that I adore. Its nice to see talented people around the city without breaking the bank.

Rockwood Music Hall

 These are just the few things I've done the last couple of weeks. Thank the stars for the internet and The Village Voice. Things just keep adding themselves to my list of New York outings to engage in  when I get cabin fever. Now for the coming attractions...

Free Beer Tuesdays @ Bierkraft

When: Every Tuesday *sigh*

Cost: Free... gosh read the title :)\

Fun-O-Meter: Beer, friends, Free-ness... how can this not be awesome. Every Tuesday this bar offers free beer tastings going between local brewers. Apparently, they offer free munchies to go along with the tasting. AWESOME! Get a few friends together and you have a night out.

Bierkraft: Free Beer Yaaaaaaaay! 

Skee-Ball at Full Circle Bar

When: Tuesday & Thursday starting @ 5pm

Cost: $1 per game

Fun-O-Meter: I'm not always in the mood for an "Arcade-like" bar but when I am... this place hits the spot.

Full Circle Bar Brooklyn

Martini and a Manicure @ Beauty Bar

When: Every evening 6-11pm

Cost: $10

Fun-O-Meter: You pay $10 and you get both a manicure and a martini...WHOA. Plus you get the ambiance of a 50's style beauty parlour and with a DJ. Just a bit of splurge compared to the free things but, a girl has to pamper herself every once in a while.

 Beauty Bar Info

Free Show Taping

When: Check your favorite show for listings

Cost: Free

Fun-O-Meter: Jimmy Fallon, The View,  Letterman, SNL... you can sit in the audience of your favorite shows and be apart of the experience. I haven't done this yet but I can't wait. I think I'm just waiting until I can track down a taping where Michael Fassbender is the guest :/

Ok so, out of laziness and my need to catch up on "True Blood", I'm going to cut this list short. There's so much more. Parks, Museums, Outdoor concerts, all I have to do is really and truly look. I even found a place where you can sit near the water and watch the students of the Trapeze school (yes, that's right, a Trapeze school... like in the circus) practice everyday. My deep search for life experiences and memories are all over the place. There's no need to act like a Cash Money Millionaire to discover them. I found this great article in Time Out that could be of use to anyone looking to cheaply hang around the city. 101 Things To Do For $10 Or Less

           

 Hmm... I wonder if I should sell this Al Green Ticket I bought myself a few months ago. I could probably sell it for 3 times the amount I bought it for. PSSH... yeah right! I'm keeping this sucker. I'm on a budget... I'm not crazy. Until next time.....

5 Songs With Money In The Title

(If you can't spend it... Jam to it)

1). The O'Jays - The Love Of Money

     I mean OBVIOUSLY this song was gonna be first.

 

2). Pink Floyd- Money

          Ah.. This song reminds me of Good Ol' Barbary Coast. 3 Cheers Wilmington... and PBR

 

3). Barrett Strong - Money

       Seriously. I had to stop writing this blog to dance to this song

 

4). Lady Gaga - Money Honey

        To all my fellow monsters. Paws Up.

 

5).  Junior MAFIA - Get Money

         If you ever want to feel BA. Put this song on and do everything in slow motion.

Love Always, 

      The Girl Who had a problem not singing along to "Return To Innocence" During a free Yoga Session  in Prospect Park.

To All The Fathers In My Life

Have you ever seen the movie "Father of the Bride"? Not the Elizabeth Taylor black and white... the Steve Martin version. Its one of my favorite movies. I watched it so much as a kid that I killed my VHS (R.I.P you magnificent dinosaur). If you've ever watched that movie with me, you probably noticed how my eyes fill with tears the minute George Banks starts talking about his little girl. Or how those tears spill over and a big grin stretches its way across my face when George and Annie play basketball ("My Girl" playing beautifully in the background). The truth is, my feelings play like record during this movie. Happy to melancholy... side splitting laughter to crocodile tears. Its like watching a menopausal Joan Crawford in a one woman show of emotions. It all flows down to the simple fact that this movie is one of the only things that make me miss my father.

Father Of The Bride: The Best Scene Ever

Growing up, my relationship with my father was reduced to the occasional weekend. On those unicorn Friday's, I would come home from school, gather up my things in a bag and sit on the front porch waiting, dreaming and pulsing with excitement. Sometimes, he would show. Most of the time... he didn't. My mom would sometimes sit with me. She never said a bad word about him. She would just make up an excuse and we would go in and have a girls night complete with pizza and some ridiculous movie that would make me smile. She is a Lioness among women, my mother. When he did make it, we would have such an amazing time. Usually, he would teach me to play basketball. It was his passion. He loved it. I actually got really good at it. I remember him being funny and laughing myself breathless. One Christmas, when I got my first boombox (yes, it was pink), he got me my first CD. Well, it wasn't really my first CD. In fact my mother got me the exact same CD to go along with my pink boombox. But, he looked so excited that when I opened it, I couldn't bare to tell him I already had it. To this day I still have 2 copies of TLC's Crazy Sexy Cool. Our sporadic hangouts lasted up until I was about 13. They then went from sporadic to almost non existent. The last time I saw him was at my high school graduation. The fact that he was there was a bigger surprise to me than anyone could ever know. He said he wanted to be apart of my life again. Then, he was gone and I haven't seen him since.

Don't feel bad for me.  Now that I am an adult, those memories of my father are a little less painful. They are just little pieces that helped shape me into who I am. I now remember all the people in my life that stood in for my absent father. My wonderful uncles, the amazing women in my family, the fathers of close friends, an amazing Stepfather that treats me like I've always been his own. All these people deserve a Father's Day card from me. Lets not forget my wonderful mother. She had tools fixing up our house in one hand, a spoon fixing dinner in the other and a wonderful spirit and mind that never left me wondering if I was loved. Basically I should never worry about who will walk me down the aisle one day. I have a whole bear hug of people to choose from. People who know me... know simple facts about me like my favorite color or the fact that I loathe cheddar cheese. But, every year on Father's Day I can't help but to think of my dad. I wonder where he is and if he thinks of me.... If he's well and happy. I wonder if he knows that I can still shoot a 3 pointer with my eyes closed even if I've neglected the talent I had as a girl.

Honestly, I just want to say thank you. I want to thank all the fathers of the world that give their children something to smile about. I want to say thank you to every father I see reading to his kid on the subway, playing and laughing with their kids in Central Park, walking down the street singing songs with their child's hand firmly locked in theirs. To that child you are king. To me, a person who didn't really have that, who had close friends who didn't have a father, you are king. You help me to look forward to the future. Look forward to having children one very far off day and knowing that they will have a father as honorable as you. Seriously, Happy Father's Day! To  everyone who has a father.... yes, they are dorky sometimes, they probably embarrass you on a regular basis, they may even get on your nerves a bit... but do me a huge favor and hug them. Hug them for all the times they get it right.

To my own father, I'm not sure if I will ever see you again. But, if we happen to cross paths in future I hope you know, without any shadow of a doubt, that you are in for one hell of a game of HORSE. Until next time...

5 TV/Movie Dads That I Adore

1). Cliff Huxtable, "The Cosby Show"

            Who didn't want to be a Huxtable? I love this family so, so much and Cliff was an amazing dad. His lessons were sometimes hard but always given with love and a dose of laughter. 

2). Atticus Finch, "To Kill A Mockingbird"

             Amazing dad, amazing human being. Enough said. 

3). Mufasa, "The Lion King"

            You are a liar if you don't hear the majestic voice of Mufasa when you read "Remember Who You Are". 

4). Chris Gardner, "Pursuit of Happyness"

           I know alot of people that aren't a fan of this film. But, even with that, you can't deny that this man was an amazing father. He wanted nothing but the absolute best for his son.

5). Sam Baldwin, "Sleepless In Seattle"

            This man lost his wife and now has to take care of his son on his own. Its an amazing romantic comedy, yes... but it also shows a wonderful relationship between father and son. 

Love Always,

        The girl who has at least 21 fathers in her life. 

Shoping Rant: The Devil Wears Prada But, I Can't.... Yeah, that's fair (Pssh)

Do you smell that? The pungent order of lighter fluid and charcoal caressing the air? That was a constant invasion to my nose over the Memorial Day weekend. Any given second, you could walk down the street and here several genres of music blasting out of open windows with the electricity of an anticipated gathering humming around you. The "Summer time" train is slowly chuggin' it's way into spring and (or so it seems) dragging the equator along with it. It is HOT! Strutting to the train 3 blocks away is now a sure-fire way to end up with a sheen of sweat all over me. The sigh of relief I feel every time I enter a place equipped with central air reminds me of a task that I've been putting off for the last few months: The need to buy a pair of shorts.

Torture. How can I make you understand? Sometimes, shopping for me is like preparing for battle. You have to be emotionally and physically ready to find a simple pair of jeans. Don't get me wrong. I love clothes. If there was a way to legally marry an Elie Saab gown, you guys would be receiving a Save the Date any minute now. But, alas... a plus size girl living in a city full of amazing, high end fashion that considers a size 8 to be an XXL is like being slapped in the face each time you step through retail doors. You haven't seen embarrassment until you see your face in the dressing room mirror when you are trying on something that you know is your size but you end up stuffed in a piece of fabric, your body part smushed in odd directions about to explode while "Fat Bottom Girls" booms over the store radio mocking your failure. Oye!

That's right Freddy... just keep rubbing salt in the wound.

When you do get lucky enough to find clothing for your body type, there is still the matter of quality and all out appearance. Most of the things I find come apart within a few days. I find myself mending things that I just purchased because they are made of thin, low quality, horribly cut materials and really... I don't have a choice. I'm aware that making clothing in the plus size range requires a lot more fabric and costs a lot more money. But I promise you fashion industry, you will make that money back and then some. I know a bucket load of women with the same problem that would be willing to pay a little extra for a shirt that won't self destruct. Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Avenue... I love you, but what is it with the patterns? Seriously, I need to know. I come in the store, looking for something simple. Jeans, a black dress.. ya know.. the things every woman should have in her closet. Instead, I get prints, prints and more prints. Patterns that rival the ugliest movie theater or casino carpet. Usually, they are accompanied by a few ruffles here and there. Maybe I'm being a little harsh. Some patterns aren't that bad. Some patterns. Others just seem like a cruel joke.

And, what about jeans? Why is finding a pair of plain blue jeans like searching for the holy grail? Sometime you think you found them then... BAM! Turn them around and find a bedazzled medley all over butt. I'm not 12. I don't need a glittery star on my behind pockets to make me feel like a BAMF. At least not everyday jeans.

So is this considered business casual or......

Wow, it's just such an exhausting mission sometimes. I'm a trendy person. I enjoy trying out new styles and looks I see in magazines or movies. It's fun to me. Variety isn't a word easily used to describe plus size clothing. It makes me long for the pre-teen days when I owned a tiny sewing kit and barbie sewing machine. Out of all the reasons I want to loose weight, I'd say that "making shopping a little easier" would be in the top 5. It would be nice to go into a store or shopping with my friends and not want to pull my hair out. Or at least not to receive speculative looks from the sales associates. Seriously, this happened. While perusing through an upscale Manhattan clothing store, I was constantly being badgered by a sales associate who asked me about 4 times if I was "buying a gift for someone else" and wouldn't stop given me the stink eye. The realist in me thought "Maybe she's thinks I can't afford anything in here" (which was most likely what she was thinking and might I add... completely accurate). The comedian in me thought "maybe it's because I'm black". (Highly unlikely. It's a joke people I'm not serious). But, the insecure me won over and thought "It's because I can't fit one thing in here". So, I mosied over to the scarf and sun glasses section to get blondie off my back. She still watched me though. I swear, with one eye brow raise, that broad became my 99th problem. I vow here today that when I get to my goal weight, I will go back to that store with shopping bags in hand and pull a "Pretty Woman" all over that place.

 Way to shut that skank down Julia!

To be honest, I will probably have these problems when I get to my goal weight. I'll still have to get a shirt one size larger because my boobs won't fit. Jeans will still be a problem because my thigh size doesn't match my hip size. All women have these problems. I have a friend who's too tall. Another that feels she can't find anything because she's too skinny. It happens all across the board. But, I gotta say it's worth all that fuss to find things that help me bring my personality to the outside. Or just finding a simple shirt that doesn't unravel like an ill conceived plan. Yeah, it's kinda shallow. Hopefully this rant didn't set women back  a few decades. What can I say,  I have political, enlightening, forward, world changing thoughts. But sometimes my thoughts all revert back to the simple fact that I am a woman... and I just want a pair of jeans that trick me into believing that I have Beyonce's ass. Is that too much to ask? Until next time....

3 Clothing Stores That Make Shopping Easier For Plus Size Women

1). Torrid

        Most of the clothes are great! Fashionable, well made and doesn't make me feel like I'm 20 years older than I am. Unfortunately, there isn't a location near me but that only means that I rack up a swarm of online points! Torrid.com - The Destination for Trendy Plus-Size Fashion

2). IGiGi

       Great store if you are looking for dressy. A little on the expensive side but still wonderful to look at and get ideas and occasionally splurge on an amazing dress. IGiGi: Designer Plus-size Dresses

3). Forever 21

        I have tried to hate this store, trust me. But, it's one of the only places in Manhattan I can shop and find things that work for me. Not always good quality but super affordable. Forever 21: Plus

Love Always,
     The girl who has experienced that awkward moment when you spot something amazing hanging amongst your size in the store and ecstatically grab it only to see that someone of the size 2 persuasion hung it there because that rack was closest to the dressing room. :/

28 Blazing Candles

Yeah, I know what's going on right now. Your eyes, alert and focused, are zeroing in on the the words "Dark Shadows". And before you ask, the answer is no. "Dark Shadows" is not my Bond girl innuendo. Nor is it my my Avengers identity or my stripper name. Ok, lets forget about the DS for a moment. What I really want you to pay attention to is the date towards the bottom of the picture. May 11th... A glorious, wonderful day that claims the birth of a number of coolbeans people. Let's see... there's Salvador Dali, the great surrealist painter. Also you have Martha Graham, the innovator of modern dance. Oh yeah, we can't forget Peter North, the great Pornstar best known for his work in "Johnny Come Greatly" (Gee, thanks Wikipedia by way of Google for that info). And then, there's just little ol' me. That's right, May 11th is my birthday! Way back when, on Mother's Day 1984, 11:46pm, just when everyone thought that I wouldn't be showing up until the 12th, I pulled a "SIKE" and came on out into the world. Tadaaaa!

Birthday's are preeeety important to me. I don't know what it is. It's like Kevin McCallister and Christmas trees... I'm just super into (excited about, a fan of) celebrating another year of life.  For the last few yearly celebrations, I've created a multiple day event dedicated to honoring my increase in age, wisdom and all the new blessings in the year to come. Its called MAKIAPALOOZA! *Side note*(Makiapalooza is often said with both fists raised in the air and a slightly wild look in the eyes of the speaker). Anyhoo, it's just a designated few days for me to just be more indulgent than usual and happy that I'm here. Those days almost always involve plenty of personal time, reflection of past and future events and a HELLA good time with the people I love. Makiapalooza 2012 was no different...

PALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZA 2012!!!

About a week and a half before "Makiapalooza" started, I had my wisdom teeth removed (Not fun by the way) and spent the next I don't know how many days at home in my bed. Due to being heavily influenced by the Mary Poppins of prescriptions, going outside and interacting with the world was not a good idea. So, when the official 1st day of my festivities began ( and I woke up with absolutely no pain in my mouth... yippeee!) I was anxious to emerge from the hibernation cave that was my apartment and treat myself to various outings in NYC. Most of my personal celebrations consisted of eating real food (you never know how much you miss chewing until its taken away from you for a few days), lying in the park with my book, a mani pedi, and an AM showing of "The Avengers", where I kicked back in the half empty theater and confirmed my crush on Mark Ruffalo. A haze of lazy activity. Buzzing with enough stored energy to power the entire dance crew on a MC Hammer video, I was ready for the real hootenanny to begin!

THE BEACH BOYS
Armed with 2 tickets (courtesy of the local radio station), my friend Stacey and I headed to Beacon Theater to see The Beach Boys for their 50th anniversary tour.

 Self Explanatory Picture

Oh man, the show was amazing! 50 years *sigh*. These guys have so much history and I was honored to celebrate with them. They, of course, sang all the hits. Brian Wilson, and his super falsetto... Mike Love, or "Dr. Love" ( a name that adorned the t-shirts of a number of 60 plus ladies) pointing and flirting with all the women in the crowd... staggering fun times. The magnificence of the show was topped off by none other than John "Uncle Jesse" Stamos. Yep, The Stamos introduced The Beach Boys and even came out for a few songs. He sang, he played the bongos, he basically punched the audience in the face with a dose on 90's nostalgia. Man, I miss "Full House". It took everything I had not to shout for Jesse and the Rippers. The guy behind me didn't have as much luck controlling the shouting urges. He happily and energetically shouted "STAMOS!!" every time ol' John kablamed  us with his presence on stage. 
My favorite part of the show came in the faces and sounds of the fans in the audience. You could absolutely tell that the majority of the people in that room were long time, die hard Beach Boys fans. The way a person would scream and throw their hands up in the air when a favorite song would start... you knew that person was reliving the first time they heard that song or a life altering memory associated with the lyrics. For example: The guy in front of me seemed to have an intense connection with the song "Wouldn't It Be Nice". For most of the show, he, like all of us grooved and sang along. But, when that song started he couldn't help himself. He jumped up and fully embodied the music. It was fun standing behind him and watching his joy. Instead of angling my recording slightly to the right to see the stage, I kept the camera on him.

I had my own little moment with the song "God Only Knows". Love x3 that song! It was so amazing to hear it live. For just a little while I was a crazy fan completely in my own world. During the performance of "In My Room" everyone sat down to enjoy the slow jam in peace. Toward the front, and older couple remained standing. Their arms were wrapped around each other as they swayed side to side as if they were the only two people in the room. This was their song. With everyone else ignored, they lived for those few minutes in a memory. It was one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. I want that one day.

With the show wrapping to a close, we all entered the land of "Kokomo" and got one last "Good Vibration" before leaving. Congrats Beach Boys. You still got it and your music will continue to evoke the reactions I saw that night. Bangerang good show!

My sentiments exactly sir.

THE BEASTIE BOWL
If you have ever read my blog, you know that I am a huge fan of Brooklyn Bowl's Thursday night "Bowl Train". After my friend Erin landed in NYC we spent the day preparing for the that night's Bowl Train extravaganza, eager to see what Quest Love would spin for our dance moves. With the passing of Beastie Boys MCA fresh on the minds of music lovers around the world, the Brooklyn Bowl had it's own way of saying thank you to Adam Yauch. Instead of the normal  decade interchangeable smorgasbord of music, Quest Love played an all Beastie Boys hip hop bomb interlaced with a few songs that influenced the group. Episodes of Soul Train featuring Beastie Boys performances played on all the TV screens. And the dance floor was crowded with individuals giving their own Beastie Boys concert.  I don't know if you know this but, Beastie Boys music + Bowling+ An undisclosed amount of Whiskey Sours+ wonderful friends (side hip bump to Ann, Sophia, and E.Capps) + Erin Capps "should be busted out more often" legendary dance moves = a rockin' good time! We bowled, danced and the staff was nice enough to bring me a delicious ice cream sundae complete with a B-day candle. I blew the candle out and made a wish for my 28th year while "Intergalactic" blasted in the back ground.

MAY 11TH
Besides my annual dance to "Happy Birthday" By Altered Images, I had know idea what was going to happen that day. My friends, the amazing people that they are, had a surprise for me and I couldn't help my kid on Christmas bouncing up and down. I spent the day chatting with friends and reliving the day of my birthday with my mom over the phone. That evening, I got my surprise in the form of a Broadway ticket to see "Sister Act"! It was such an amazing show. I had no idea what to expect. Raven Simone led a cast of extreme talents in a highly entertaining spectacle. I still have some of the songs stuck in my head. The set was fantastic, the costumes amazing and the experience motivating. Seeing a show or films or television program is like fuel to me. It reminds me why I chose this business. Story telling. It's what I do. Whether it's through writing or the spoken word I am a re-narrative of imagination. My friends hit the nail on the head with that gift, as they usually do. My cheeks were in pain from smiling so much during that show.

We ended the night on the roof of my apartment building with a bottle of champagne and music. I honestly couldn't ask for a better Birthday. Sitting there with two of my sisters, friends and family that weren't there with me but ever present in my heart and mind, I sent a cheers towards the sky line and thought 28 is starting off with the highest of kicks.

 Me, doing my very best Sister Act

REFLECTION

Palooza concluded with a giant jumble of mimosas, rooftop chats, chick flicks and sleeping until the afternoon. My gosh, I seriously can't believe I'm 28. When I was a young girl, it seemed like such a far away age... almost incomprehensible.  I still feel like fresh meat in this world, which... I am. 10 years ago when I graduated high school (sheesh), I had no idea what to expect for when my reunion came up. What stories would I have to tell? What will I be doing? The person I imagined at 28 is completely different than the person I currently am. It's a good thing. I love where I am in life right now. Not completely young and foolish, but not quite the full fledged worldly adult. There's a kind of spontaneity to this period in our youth. My cousin sent me a message on my birthday that said "Happy 28th! Welcome to the best year of your life so far!" I truly believe that. I have no idea what 28 will bring but this feeling... the kind of excitement you feel when you jumped off a diving board for the first time or the buzz you get before a first kiss, it's crackling around me.  Consider me amped! Here comes the 28th adventure :P.

 

PUDGE WATCH 2012

I did it! I completed my detox like a champ. It was honestly one of the best things I could have done for my body. You learn so much about yourself and your own will power and, what can I say, I'm proud. I'm actually planning to continue eating the foods on my detox list starting in the next day or so. While on the program, I had so much energy and I felt amazing. It was helping me get healthy and I didn't feel the sluggish, heavy feeling that surrounded me before. I think I owe it to myself to try it out longer. Not on a completely strict basis but, more of a guide. Not eating junk wasn't as hard as I imagined. I'll be starting back up my tumblr blog soon, following my recipe choices and exercise methods and etc. Please feel free to visit if ya wanna know how the war on weight is fairing up. The Pudge Diaries

 

I'm sure you can tell but, Makiapalooza was definitely amazing this year. I want all of my friends and family to know that I am so thankful for each and every one of you. The awesome messages I received, the tokens in the mail, the singing on my voicemail... I don't know how to say thank you enough. That's my true gift every year. The people in my life. Until next time.....  

 

3 Things That Are Seducing My Entertainment Buds

1). Degeneration X
          Have you ever seen a play that gets under your skin? You feel the characters so much that you swear they are real people. You relate to them and  talk about them as if they are real. That was my experience when seeing Perf Productions Multimedia play Degeneration X.  Meredith Edwards, Director and Co-creator with Leah Bachar introduces us to Xavier, an artist living in Brooklyn, NY  who struggles with migraines, hallucinations and the ability to tell the difference between what's real, and what's imaginary. We follow Xavier as everything in his world becomes more and more chaotic.
I'm not a professional reviewer. It's hard for me to tell you all about the technical genius of this show. I can only tell you what I felt. To me, the show was brilliant. The characters were complex and genuine and there wasn't one time where I wasn't completely engrossed in the story. Watching the story jump back and forth between the stage world and the film world gave the play such a well rounded energy and brought you deeper into the roller coaster that was Xavier's mind and emotions. Top it off with wonderful artwork by Shmee and an incredible cast, you got a creative, colorful show. I can't wait to see it again! Perf Productions

2).The Shack By WM Paul Young
             One ordinary day, you check your mailbox and there, in a plain white envelope, is a letter from God inviting you to a location to meet with him for a weekend. Would you go? Yeah, it sounds a bit suspicious and most of us would probably write it off as a joke. But, what if it was real? In this book, we follow a man who, while going through an awful, Great Sadness, receives a chance to talk with God. What would you say? What answers would I need to hear? These questions and more run through my head every time I turn the page while reading this book. What I really love most about this book is its ability to not preach at you, not try to convert you.... it's a wonderful story of faith, and a struggle for understanding. Trust me guys, give it a shot.

3). ABC's "Scandal"
          I've been hearing about this show for a while now and I finally had time to start it a couple of days ago. Well, I am really, really diggin' on this show. 3 cheers to Shonda Rhimes, Judy Smith and the star Kerry Washington. Its a super clever show about a group of individuals, led by the "Trust Your Gut" believer Olivia Pope, who are basically professional "fixers". They make problems go away. I've already finished the entire 7 episodes of the first season and I am completely sucked in. Bravo. If you are looking for something to watch on a rainy day... you know what to do.

Love Always,
    The girl who survived her first year in the Big Apple Jungle