Do The Tubman

Tales of a Thirtysomething Barista.....

INT. Coffee Shop - Morning Shift                                                                        

So, I think most of us can agree that Racism isn't... groovy. I've dealt with my fair share of deliberate racism but, 40% of the comments or actions I've experienced in that regard have been accidental or what you would call "light stereotyping". While working on set, I once had the lead actor of the TV show walk right up to me and ask if I got the new "Fiddy" album. (That's right, not 50... Fiddy). Keep in mind, I wasn't the only one standing there. I was surrounded by dozens of other extras, all caucasian, just like the lead actor. It amused me because I think the last album I'd purchased at that time was Hilary Duff (no shame). Little things like that always happen to me. I have a regular that comes in the coffee shop who calls me "Areatha" because he can't remember my name. And a coworker who constantly asks me if I've tried certain Fried Chicken locations around the city. Well, the last two might be because I'm a tad overweight but, for the purpose of this blog, I'm calling it accidental racism.

Today, I have the pleasure of working during our weekly Mommy and Me sing-a-long. That's 30+ infants, their mother's (Or as I like to call them, the Park Slope Stroller Mafia), and a barefoot guy with a guitar, dancing around and trying to get the infants who can't talk to "C'MON AND SING-A-LONG WITH MEEEE". The barefoot guy in question happens to be the most accidentally racist person I've ever met. He racks up uncomfortable comments like numbers on a score board.

"Hey, LaTeesha! How's it going today?" LaTeesha? - DING! That's 1.

"What's the name of that one black guy. I know YOU know him." - DING! That's 2.

"I really admire you girls going back to your roots with your hair!" Annnnd then 
he attempted to touch said hair without permission... DING-DING-DING! DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!!!!!!!!!!

Ya know, nothing too serious. Just a comment here and there that always makes me go (high pitched) "Hmmmm, really?" 

My favorite part of the sing-a-long is when he gets into the "Civil War" section of his performance. He's a Civil War buff, ya see. He has this one jam about Harriet Tubman called "Do The Tubman". And every song has a good hook, right? Well, this one has "If you get tired, do the Tub-Tub-Tubman"( I wish I was making this up). During the song, he gets a few of the toddlers present to stomp around like they're traveling the Underground Railroad. He always shouts "Thats right kiddos! Walk, walk, walk. Cause God knows nobody did more walking than Harriet Tubman!"

Again with the high pitched "Hmmmm, really?"

I've heard this song about 20 times and each time I wonder who on earth told him that this was a good idea? I get a bonus laugh when I see a few of the Stroller Mafia peaking at me to see if I'm offended. The only thing that really offends me is that the song gets stuck in my head for hours and I catch myself singing it for the rest of the day. Damn you barefoot guitar man. Your cringe worthy jams are kind of catchy! I can't wait to hear your Dubstep tune about Martin Luther King. 

Ok. Shift over. Another sing-a-long survived. I'm gonna grab my coat, put a hat on my ethnic hair and Tubman my ass right on home. 

The Thirtysomething Barista

Don't Call It A Comeback....

Song: Time To Pretend by MGMT

Ok... ok... let me explain...

1 year... 1 month and 6 days. That's how long its been since I wrote my last blog. I'm surprised that I even remembered my password. But, here I am. My blog let me back in with open arms after sitting there like a forgotten tomb containing my New York memories and revelations. I was almost afraid to come back. Afraid that I wouldn't have anything interesting to say. When you are trying to make it as a writer/actor, one of your main concerns is public reception. What will they think of me? Are they enjoying themselves? Will they come back for more? Ok, so that sounds more like a lady of the evening but, you get what I'm saying.

I feel your pain boo.

I'd forgotten what it was like to just write. Write about my life and my experiences. Write for fun and without any concern of the topic or perception or "will I get paid for this?" So, I came back to the basics. Back to the blog that started my love affair with my keyboard. I mean, if NBC can revive "Heroes" and "Coach", I can revive my blog (#thingsgrownasswomensay). 

Ok so, what's happened during my year absence? Well, a lot of things are still the same. Three major things in particular: 

1). I'm still black. 

2). I'm still an Actor

3). I'm still hopelessly and completely in love with New York City. 

Differences? Well, a lot can happen in a year. A few notable changes:

1). I'm now a part of the "Dirty 30" Club.

That's right, I'm now a lovely lady in her 30s. While I was a little nervous about entering this new decade in my life, I have to admit that the pros far out weigh the cons. I've developed a certain confidence that I never really had in my twenties. Things like saying "No" has become an easy freedom. I'm excited about what the 30s will bring to my life. Although, hearing the Marisa Tomei "Ticking time clock" speech from "My Cousin Vinny" is a little different now. She was my age. She was ready for a baby. I'm not. Is that bad? Why does my family keep asking me about my relationship and uterus status? What the hell time is it anyway? 

2). I've had the pleasure of being robbed.

           

Nothing says "Official New Yorker" like having your money stolen by a couple of teenagers. I wish I could tell you that I'm A-OK about the incident. The truth is it made me angry and a little jittery. I worked hard for that money. I also worked hard to sustain a level of trust and safety in this city. I'm a bit more cautious when it comes to people now. I suspect this nervous energy will ease at some point. But trust me when I say that if I didn't feel 30 before my little run in with the pubescent Ocean's Eleven, then hearing myself yell "YOU ALL NEED AN ASS WHOOPIN'" as they ran away with my cash certainly did the trick.

3). I've experienced a few bumps a bruises when it comes to love and dating.

I remember my first heartache. I curled up on my bed, listened to "This I Promise You" by N'sync on repeat and wondered "Where did it all go wrong? How did this happen? We're suppose to be together." There was nothing I could do. Justin Timberlake loved Britney Spears, not me. *Sigh* I had to let him go.  Anyhoo, fast-forward to today. Dating and love is still the most unpredictable book I've ever read.  But, it's nothing that couldn't be healed with amazing friends, Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movies and a bit of interpretive dance to Prodigy in my apartment. In the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

4). I'm A Working Actress 

I hopped off the bus in NYC Axel Rose "Welcome To The Jungle" style. With my bags in one hand and my dreams in the other, I was determined to manifest every desire of my heart. In the past year, I've witnessed several victories in my acting career. I have a manager/agent now. I've been going on auditions and best of all, booking roles. When you leap out on faith without any proof that you'll be caught, its scary. I'm still not quite sure there's a net to catch me but, the fall has been anything but boring. The feeling I felt when I received the email about my very 1st SAG role booking.... I can't describe it. Incredible doesn't seem like enough. I ran to the roof of my apartment, looked at the Empire State Building (It was pink that night) and I "Whooooo-hoooooooooed" like it was New Years Eve. Now that I've experienced that feeling, I will always want it again and again. Like a drug. Maybe my Acting career will work out. Maybe it won't. But what ever I do in this life, I now KNOW that I need that feeling. I need that light feeling of accomplishment and excitement. 




So, there you have it! A "Previously on A Lovely Puzzle...." for ya before the season premiere. I have to say, I'm a little to excited about writing this blog again. For a person who didn't think she had anything interesting to say, my mind is buzzing with all sorts of stories to share. It gives me another reason to stop and notice the present. Looking forward to experiencing 2015 with you! Until next time... 

Love Always, 
The girl who is still putting together her lovely puzzle

S.ugar H.oney I.ced T.ea

This just in: Today I, Makia Janine Martin, had the absolute WORST audition that I have EVER had in my entire acting life. This was the kind of spectacular failure that I imagine ending with a person on their knees with hands thrusting up towards the sky as they shout "WHY GOD!? WHHHYYYYYY?!" The kind of hideous scene worthy of a slow motion movie moment. People shaking their heads lazily... a person saying "Nooooooo" in that deep, warped slow voice. I was an active participant in this crime ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I plead "Guilty". My sentence handed down to me in the form of an awkward silence, followed by a "Thank you Makia. We'll let you know." So, here I am, half a Guinness later (a Guinness and a half), able to tell you the tale. 

Yesterday, I was invited to come and audition for "Porgy and Bess". For those of you who don't know, "Porgy and Bess" is a George Gershwin opera first performed in 1935. It's also responsible for classics like the song "Summertime". I mean,  I was pretty excited. That is, until I realized that the song I would be auditioning with was "My Man Is Gone Now" and composed in the key "Dog Whistle". I actually broke out into a hysterical laughter when I listened to my audition piece. My mezzo-soprano range was not even ready for the "business time" that was this song's pitch". But, as an actress, when you get an audition you pull yourself together, prepare and go in there ready to blow them away. So, I prepared. I prepared all night until I literally fell asleep on my sheet music. The next day, I was ready and confident. I walked to that audition with a pep in my step and a smirk on my face. These people had no idea what kind of Goddess they were about to encounter. I was pretty much in Annette Benning "I will sell this house today." mode.

You bet your sweet ass I'm gonna sang

So, I planned to sing the song in a pitch that was perfect for me. What the hell, right? If I was gonna sing this song, I was gonna do it in a way that made me feel proud. Not even the broad that went in before me (who, I might add, sounded like The Phantom of The Opera was her granddaddy) could make me regret this decision. So... I walked in, headshot in hand and victory in my heart. As soon as the first note left my mouth, the casting director stopped me and said "No. That's too low. Can you sing it in this key?" The piano accompanist happily played the key for me, pressing it several times as if mocking my attempt. I gave it a shot but, but the only sound that came out was "irate cat".

"No, I'm sorry but, I'm not able to hit that note" I said. *Sigh* "Ok," said the casting director. "Do you have anything else you could sing?" Now, I got really excited about this. With me, I had the sheet music for "When You're Good To Mama" from "Chicago". A song, that I've sung so many times, I could nail it in my sleep. I ran it over to the accompanist and took center stage, and readied myself to burn this place down.

 
And off I went, singing my sassy little song. 5 seconds in, I could already tell that the casting director was NOT interested. He started yawning and making a few quiet comments to the people beside him. They already knew that I wasn't what they wanted but, they let me finish the song just to be nice. My decision? The hell you will. I will blow this last note out of the sky. They won't even see it coming. And well... blew that note I did. Blew it out like an old tire. Right there in the middle of my grand finale, my voice cracked. Like, "young boy going through puberty" cracked. After I finished, we all sat there in silence. They just stared at me and I stared back with an expression battling between fake confidence and mortification. Not even my mother would have applauded that monstrosity. And if she did, it would only be because she thought I looked pretty.

They gave me the "Don't call us, we'll call you" spiel and I power walked out of there with my Disney smile still in place. As soon as the elevator doors closed behind me, I stared at my reflection in the metal and burst into laughter. Are you serious? What in the unsatisfying F*CK just happened in there?

So yeah, here I am in all my PTSD glory. What surprises me the most is how comical I find the situation. I thought a bad audition like that would leave me licking my wounds and afraid to ever step in an audition room again. But, it didn't. I left motivated and excited. I had new things to work on and I wanted to improve them. Its amazing how many situations we think will knock us down for the count. Yet, we make it through. Of course this is the original point for this blog posting.

You, me, all of us... this gathering of souls trying to find absolute fulfillment on this earth are perfectly capable of surviving through failures. We get back up, learn from it and push on. I've seen it happen time and time again. Never be afraid to fail spectacularly. I'm talking in all aspects of your life, from career to love. I know this is a "Duh" motivational speech that we've heard all our lives from cheesy after school specials. But, you can always hear it again. Anyhoo, my "The More You Know" moment is over. I just wanted to give a little encouragement to all you Rocky Balboa's out there. No Fear. Well, maybe a little fear but, that's kind of part of the fun isn't it?

Until Next Time......

4 Scenes That Describe My Audition

1). How I walked in to the audition...

2). During the audition.... All's well until...

3). How I left the audition....

 

 

4). After the audition......

Love Always,
     The Girl Who's ready for another audition. (Bring it on)