To All The Fathers In My Life

Have you ever seen the movie "Father of the Bride"? Not the Elizabeth Taylor black and white... the Steve Martin version. Its one of my favorite movies. I watched it so much as a kid that I killed my VHS (R.I.P you magnificent dinosaur). If you've ever watched that movie with me, you probably noticed how my eyes fill with tears the minute George Banks starts talking about his little girl. Or how those tears spill over and a big grin stretches its way across my face when George and Annie play basketball ("My Girl" playing beautifully in the background). The truth is, my feelings play like record during this movie. Happy to melancholy... side splitting laughter to crocodile tears. Its like watching a menopausal Joan Crawford in a one woman show of emotions. It all flows down to the simple fact that this movie is one of the only things that make me miss my father.

Father Of The Bride: The Best Scene Ever

Growing up, my relationship with my father was reduced to the occasional weekend. On those unicorn Friday's, I would come home from school, gather up my things in a bag and sit on the front porch waiting, dreaming and pulsing with excitement. Sometimes, he would show. Most of the time... he didn't. My mom would sometimes sit with me. She never said a bad word about him. She would just make up an excuse and we would go in and have a girls night complete with pizza and some ridiculous movie that would make me smile. She is a Lioness among women, my mother. When he did make it, we would have such an amazing time. Usually, he would teach me to play basketball. It was his passion. He loved it. I actually got really good at it. I remember him being funny and laughing myself breathless. One Christmas, when I got my first boombox (yes, it was pink), he got me my first CD. Well, it wasn't really my first CD. In fact my mother got me the exact same CD to go along with my pink boombox. But, he looked so excited that when I opened it, I couldn't bare to tell him I already had it. To this day I still have 2 copies of TLC's Crazy Sexy Cool. Our sporadic hangouts lasted up until I was about 13. They then went from sporadic to almost non existent. The last time I saw him was at my high school graduation. The fact that he was there was a bigger surprise to me than anyone could ever know. He said he wanted to be apart of my life again. Then, he was gone and I haven't seen him since.

Don't feel bad for me.  Now that I am an adult, those memories of my father are a little less painful. They are just little pieces that helped shape me into who I am. I now remember all the people in my life that stood in for my absent father. My wonderful uncles, the amazing women in my family, the fathers of close friends, an amazing Stepfather that treats me like I've always been his own. All these people deserve a Father's Day card from me. Lets not forget my wonderful mother. She had tools fixing up our house in one hand, a spoon fixing dinner in the other and a wonderful spirit and mind that never left me wondering if I was loved. Basically I should never worry about who will walk me down the aisle one day. I have a whole bear hug of people to choose from. People who know me... know simple facts about me like my favorite color or the fact that I loathe cheddar cheese. But, every year on Father's Day I can't help but to think of my dad. I wonder where he is and if he thinks of me.... If he's well and happy. I wonder if he knows that I can still shoot a 3 pointer with my eyes closed even if I've neglected the talent I had as a girl.

Honestly, I just want to say thank you. I want to thank all the fathers of the world that give their children something to smile about. I want to say thank you to every father I see reading to his kid on the subway, playing and laughing with their kids in Central Park, walking down the street singing songs with their child's hand firmly locked in theirs. To that child you are king. To me, a person who didn't really have that, who had close friends who didn't have a father, you are king. You help me to look forward to the future. Look forward to having children one very far off day and knowing that they will have a father as honorable as you. Seriously, Happy Father's Day! To  everyone who has a father.... yes, they are dorky sometimes, they probably embarrass you on a regular basis, they may even get on your nerves a bit... but do me a huge favor and hug them. Hug them for all the times they get it right.

To my own father, I'm not sure if I will ever see you again. But, if we happen to cross paths in future I hope you know, without any shadow of a doubt, that you are in for one hell of a game of HORSE. Until next time...

5 TV/Movie Dads That I Adore

1). Cliff Huxtable, "The Cosby Show"

            Who didn't want to be a Huxtable? I love this family so, so much and Cliff was an amazing dad. His lessons were sometimes hard but always given with love and a dose of laughter. 

2). Atticus Finch, "To Kill A Mockingbird"

             Amazing dad, amazing human being. Enough said. 

3). Mufasa, "The Lion King"

            You are a liar if you don't hear the majestic voice of Mufasa when you read "Remember Who You Are". 

4). Chris Gardner, "Pursuit of Happyness"

           I know alot of people that aren't a fan of this film. But, even with that, you can't deny that this man was an amazing father. He wanted nothing but the absolute best for his son.

5). Sam Baldwin, "Sleepless In Seattle"

            This man lost his wife and now has to take care of his son on his own. Its an amazing romantic comedy, yes... but it also shows a wonderful relationship between father and son. 

Love Always,

        The girl who has at least 21 fathers in her life.