20 years ago my mother took me to the the movies to see "Jurassic Park". I remember everything about that night. The excitement, the danger, the music... every aspect of that movie took me in. I could barely sit still! After the movie was over, I stood on my seat and applauded and begged my mom to let me sit through the credits. I just wasn't ready to let go. The next weekend, I had a date with my father. He took me to the movies to see (you guessed it)"Jurassic Park" under the false belief(I provided of course) that I hadn't seen it yet. The second time around, I watched the people around me. I wanted to see if they would laugh at certain scenes or the look of fear in their eyes when the cup of water vibrated from the T-Rex's oh so anticipated approach. Right then, I knew. I knew that I wanted to be apart of this world. I wanted to be a character in some amazing story that snagged the hearts and minds of an audience and caused a little girl to stand in her chair and applaud. I wanted to bring something that started on a page to life. Thus, the beginning of my urge to become an Actress.
Oh Goldblum. Usain Bolt would have gotten away.
Cut to 20 years later.... That same girl is listening to the "Jurrasic Park" score on her Ipod as her train crosses the bridge from Brooklyn into Manhattan. I'm on my way to an interview with VOICETheatre. VOICETheatre is an amazing program that gives recognition to new artists and a stage for new works. It also allows for professional, working directors and casting directors to hold workshops for Actors as well as showcasing them to agents and other industry professionals. They look for trained Actors to showcase and get their names out into NYC. Hundreds apply and 16 are chosen. There are several reasons that I wanted to move to NYC. I wanted to find out more about myself. I wanted to live in this amazing place where anything could happen. Most of all, I wanted to further my acting career. Of course, this was easier said than done. I live in a place where actors take over half of the population. Everyone here has a dream and a song to sing. Getting people to notice you out of a million is a pretty hard deed. But, even knowing this, I still came here to pursue my dream. Like a bright eyed ingenue in an 80's flashback, I stepped off the bus ready to take the world by storm.
Its been an interesting year and a half. I've had some bad auditions and a couple of good ones. I've had moments where I've doubted my path and others where my path looks bathed in gold. I'm pretty sure there are hundreds of glossy headshots with my smiling face littering the local trash dump. I'm also pretty sure I've been told critiques by casting directors that would make you think the word "Actor" was just another way to say "emotional masochist".
I'm sorry, did you just call me "Fatty Cakes" in the middle of my audition? Ummmmmmm............
And don't even get me started on when you actually get an audition. It's like Pavlov's Dogs. You start salivating at the mouth with dreams dancing in your brain of you running through a field with a script in one hand, sides in the other while you're being chased by Ben Affleck and Catherine Bigelow. Their shouts of "I have the perfect role for you" echoing in your ears as you run towards a beautiful sunset that looks remarkably like a TONY hugging an Oscar.
Even with all the struggles and little wiggles thrown into my straight line, there is something that still tells me to keep going. Is it fate? Is it my own stubbornness? Honestly, its probably a little bit of both. All I know is that Jurassic Park loving girl isn't ready to sing a swan song. In fact, it seems I've been trying harder. Sending out more and more headshots. Submitting myself until my computer sighs and blows out hot air. I've prayed and wished for opportunities to present themselves. Which brings to me to my interview with VOICETheatre. I went in with the intention of doing the very best I could, no expectations... no Pavlov's Dog response. When I walked out, I felt so amazing. The kind of amazing that can only be found when you feel like you've conquered something. I was proud of myself. Of course I wanted to be chosen but, even if I wasn't, I still nailed it. I haven't felt that since I moved here. 2 days later, I received a call inviting me to be one of the 16 Actors for their showcase. I have no idea what this will lead to. I don't know if this will be the start of something big or if it will be a step towards supporting myself as a working actor. Hell, it may not lead to much at all. But, who cares! It's an accomplishment. And if I could give advice to anyone about living, it would be to celebrate your wins.. small, medium, or Burj Khalifa. CELEBRATE IT! Besides, you never know what could happen. In such a big city, I'm just grateful for the smallest of chances.
I have no idea why I wanted to write this into a blog. The other day a friend called me and asked how things were going and I was just so excited to have news and wonderful things to tell her. I was even more excited to hear about her amazing news. I don't know. I think 2013 is going to be the year of pursuit. Pursuit of your dreams and pursuit of the things that YOU want. There are so many people I know on the cliff's edge, ready to jump into the abyss of goals that they truly want to meet. I can't wait to hear all about it! Happy New Year all! Maybe 2013 slap you with a happy stick, light a candle in the darkness and bring more fulfillment than you even thought possible. Until Next Time..... Love Always, The girl who can't believe "Jurassic Park" is 20 years old! And "Hocus Pocus".... and "Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit"!
