Weight A Minute

Since I was a little girl, there are 5 things that have remained true about me:

1). My voice still gets ridiculously loud when i'm excited about the subject.

2). I still love plain vanilla ice cream more than any other flavor.

3). My naïve, optimistic impressions of how people fall in love (thanks to Beauty and the Beast and any other magical Disney cartoon).

4). How incredibly stubborn I am… then, now... always.

5). The FACT that I have been and continue to be overweight.

My weight has always, in my mind, been this giant electric pink elephant in the room. As a younger girl it was something that was pleasantly picked on by my family. They thought it was cute. Nicknames like chubby come to mind followed by someone poking me in the stomach waiting for me to giggle. When I entered middle school, the beautiful, skinny girls with the amazing hair and the newest Sketchers used my "fatness" as a form of comedy. Even my first official boyfriend in middle school commented about the “meat on my bones”. Yeessh, people of North Rowan, why did you let me date him? Anyhoo, High school came and I just stopped caring about what people thought of me. It earned me respect and a bucket load of friends. The name calling stopped and my high school years were pretty groovy.

Even though the comments from others stopped, the comments coming from within myself never did. My confidence dropped and I started using comedy to cover up for my weight. College went on the same way, low confidence, high happy personality. That seems to be me till this day. Don’t get me wrong, I have a happy life. I love the people around me, I love the fact that I am doing something with my life. Wonderful things and amazing moments have happened to me and they have done nothing but enrich my heart. But, I have always felt like there was something missing. I would attempt weight loss, only to relapse and go back to my old habits. I’ve done everything from Diet pills (made me feel crazy) to the South Beach Diet (made me feel dizzy). I’m sick of it! People who are close to me have heard this time and time again. I would get motivated… then I would just sink, like a boulder to the bottom of the river.

A few years ago, I lost my Grandmother. She was one of the most amazing people I've ever known. I was holding her hand and watching her last breath when she passed. My Mema had type 2 Diabetes, something that runs in my family. Her health was always a problem for her. In the end.. it took her from our family. I had a dream about her a couple of nights ago. In the dream we were running and laughing. It was great. She looked so healthy and free and it shook me. I woke up with a need to make myself better. I need to get healthier . Forget all the magazines and models, and Kardashians... whatever they are. I'm not doing this to become more like them. I need to do this for me. The reason I am writing this in my blog is because despite the fact that I want to accomplish this on my own, I need help. Maybe that has been my problem all these years. I've been afraid to admit that I need help with this struggle. You guys are amazing. I have said it before and I will say it again.. I have the best friends in the world. I always have support, always have friends who tell me how beautiful and special I am. And I know they mean it with all their hearts. I want to see what they see. I want to believe what they believe. I want to be able to simply say “thank you” when someone compliments me instead of making a joke. So here it is everyone… the truth.

-I am 284 pounds.

-I have high blood pressure.

-I hide half my body behind people when taking group pictures. (A very impressive talent that I have worked hard to perfect).

-I love clothes but hate shopping.

-I get winded when walking up a flight of stairs. Hell, to be honest, I can't remember the last time I did more than casually stroll. No power walks.. don't even mention jogging.

-Sometimes my eating can get out of control.

-I'm scared that if I don't stop this now, my life will be consumed by obesity.

I’m not writing this to make people sad or feel sorry for me. I am not depressed and on my last leg. I am happy with the way things are going in my life… I just think its time for me to take control of my weight. I know I can do this, and to be honest, it’s time. It’s time I was not only happy with the environment around me, but happy with myself. I will be posting my progress on this blog because I want to be held accountable. Plus, when I DO beat this obesity, I want to look back and know I can conquer anything. Who knows, maybe I’ll motivate someone else in the process. So from now on, each blog will have a “Weight Progress” (hopefully I can come up with a better name than that... it's boring) section at the bottom, showing what’s up!

I currently have some time off and my main focus is going to be me. I’ve joined and gym and I’m also a weight watchers member. I have an appointment next week to see a nutritionist and I couldn’t be more excited. I can’t believe I just said that… I’m excited. :) Once again, thanks for reading. Until next time…

5 Things I am digging on at the moment: Weight Loss Edition

1). The Biggest Loser

     Ok, I am the first to admit that some reality TV shows get on my nerves. Not this show. I love it! These people motivate me so much. I cry almost every episode. Bob Harper has to be the coolest dude around. I know that if they can do it.. so can I.

2). Body Idols

      So here's the truth. In order to do this I need something to work towards. I don't want to be a skinny model, I just want to be happy with my body. I decided to pick body idols... women who motivate me because they are independent and proud of their curves. A few of my body idols are:

                

 Christina Hendricks- This woman is curvy and beautiful. Every time I see her, I get a since of pride. She isn't afraid to just be her.

Jennifer Hudson- I know alot of people who thinks that she looks weird after her weight loss. I don't see that. I think she looks happy. She is motivating women all over the country and I admire her spirit.

Tara Lynn - This wonderful woman is a plus size model. She is one of the only high fashion plus size models out there. I can't help but to look at her and feel like I can be curvy and confident.

3). Weight Watchers

        I have a food addiction. That is the truth. When alcoholics want to get better they go to AA meetings. There, they can find the help and support they need. Other people are there who understand how hard it is for them. Being there helps them stay motivated and on the right path. That's what weight watchers is for me. 

4). Lucille Roberts Health and Fitness Center

         I've found a gym here in NYC that's affordable and caters specifically to women's health. They have a fully equipped gym and fun classes. Look out Zumba... here I come!

5). Running

        One thing that I have never been is a runner. I want to learn. I love to watch people run. I can't wait until the day when I can put on my itunes and just run. Nothing but me and the wind. I admire those who can run and hopefully, one day soon, I will be able to run a mile.

Love Always,

   The girl who's boss offered her a freshly baked doughnut 5 seconds after she wrote this blog. (Seriously... its like she knew. I am proud to say that I turned down that delicious ball of glaze and opted for baby carrots...... stupid carrots :/ )

FANCY A SCONE?

     
Here it is ladies and gents... the keeper of Halloween, the presenter of falling ruby colored leaves, the acceptable time to BUST OUT your favorite Uggs.... my favorite month and yours...OCTOBER (insert applause here)! Seriously, I know its only the 2nd day of the month, but , you can already feel the change. The weather was so B-E-A- Utiful today! The sun and the amazing breeze floating in my window this morning refused to let me be a lazy bum. So, I put on my "The Big Chill" record and got dress for a day out in the city.

I decided to head over to central park to find a nice rock to sit on and read my Nora Roberts novel (don't give me face about the Nora. I'm planning on reading Stephen King's Misery next. So... I kinda wanna read something right now that I am 100% sure will end with ridiculous, unapologetic happiness). I got off the subway at 50th street, right in front of the Gershwin Theatre (home of "Wicked"). After taking 10 minutes to talk myself out of buying a ticket to see "Wicked" right then and there, I walked down to 59th street, Columbus Circle. I've discovered the secret to bobbing a weaving through the crowds on the street. Now, read this very closely because I'm only gonna write this once. The secret to getting through the crowds without a fuss is..... Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". No, I'm serious. I put my Ipod ear buds in and BAM, I was strutting up the street, floating through the crowds without even so much as a shoulder graze. 


After getting to the park, I settled in, excited about taking in the sun rays. Not five minutes later, a lovely gentlemen with a cooler asked me if I would like to buy a Sam Adams Octoberfest. I figured, why not... Cheers. So, I sat in the sun, with my illegal beer and, in true Makia fashion, opted for people watching instead of reading.

The park was packed with beautiful cliche images of sunny days. Dad's playing catch with their sons. Little girls running around squealing and chasing one another. Individuals laying around in the grass. One in particular with a book over her face taking an afternoon nap. An incredibly good looking man playing fetch with his dog. *Sigh* He was really cute. Why oh why was I born without flirting skills?  Anyhoo, where was I... oh yes, couples cuddling on a nearby park bench, holding hands and staring at each other as if the park belonged to only them. All of this, happening over the sounds of a young musician covering Rolling Stones' classics on his accordion. Yep, it was that cheesy... and that wonderful. 


After a lovely couple of Central Park hours, I wandered over to the village to meet my roommate for a late lunch. We decided to go to Tea & Sympathy. This place is amazing. A "must see" of NYC. Its a little cafe where you can have an amazing British tea along with delicious scones and alluring entrees. Everything in this place makes you feel like Kate Middleton having a proper tea time in London. Right down to the amazing ladies who run the place. Today, I had the Rose Petal tea (yummy), scones with Raspberry Jam (extra yummy) and sausage with mashed potatoes (Explosion of yum). The entire place is decorated with cute little tea pots, lacy table cloths and pictures of British icons. Love it! Here's a picture of the amazing spread my roomy and I had. 

                             Alice in Wonderland tea pot... cuuuute.

www.teaandsympathynewyork.com  Seriously, if you are in NYC, go there!


During our amazing late lunch, the rain started to come down. It was time to go home. But, I will have plenty more beautiful days before the dreaded New York winter weather hits us. As the season changes, so does my current path. The movie that I've been working on is coming to an end soon. Normally, I would be terrified. "What am I gonna do next?" would be the constant question plaguing me. But, for some reason or another I don't feel worried. Maybe its the excitement of the city or maybe my optimism is on overload at the moment. There are so many opportunities here that I have a feeling more than one will be knocking on my door. And I, the gracious hostess that I am, will open the door with fresh baked cookies and a welcoming smile. Until next time....

                            What I’m Diggin’ On Right Now

1). Fall TV shows

          Thank you so much TV Gods. Most of the brand new fall shows are amazing. "New Girl", "Up All Night", "Panam", and "Revenge" are just a few of my new jams. Ohhh boy!!

2)."Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"
          Has anyone seen this trailer? It should be named "Uncontrollable tears and Ridiculous amounts of Oscar Buzz". I can't wait to see it!

3). Pinterest
         Pinterest is basically an online pinboard where you can collect the things you love and "pin" them to your profile. Basically another way for me to waist time at work. LOOOOOVVVVVEE It!


4). This random, AWESOME, dance scene in "Footloose"

           With the release of the "Footloose" remake upon us, I couldn't help but to watch the original. This scene pretty much cracks me up and makes me want to dance at the same time. If they mess this up in the new movie.... (shakes head). 


5). Piper.
       I really just wanted an excuse to put up a picture of her. Isn't she cute?

6). Halloween specials/movies and Horror classics

        Tis the season to watch cheesy halloween specials on tv, watch "Hocus Pocus" about 3 times and scare myself silly by watching "Halloween" and "The Exorcist". 

7). My mother's visit
        In just a couple of weeks, my mom will be visiting me in NYC! I can't wait to show her around and impress her with my new Yankee lingo. 

                                My mom, my aunt and me :)


8). Stephen King
           I've never read a Stephen King novel before. I've decided to get pumped for Halloween by freaking myself out and reading "Misery", "The Shinning" and "It". Why would anyone do this to themselves?


9). Fall Fashion
        sandals out.... awesome new boots and tights in. Summer is not an easy time for a plus size girl. Bikini's... nope. Cute shorts... nope. Strapless top... don't make me laugh. That's right skinny girl on the train, I look just as awesome as you today. BOOM.



10). Warm beverages.
              Goodbye cold lemonade. Hello to warm tea, hot chocolate, Butterbeer and Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Don't call it a comeback... i'm not gonna. 

Love Always,
      The girl who cries during "Let's Go Fly A Kite" because she knows it's the end of the movie. :(