The Longest Day

Ten years ago today I woke up with a bad cold. I remember getting dressed that day, sniffling and coughing, determined to go to school. I had an amazing story to tell my best friend that just couldn’t wait. I was a senior in high school. The most important things in my life at that moment was trying to loose weight before Prom in May,  my essay’s for my college applications and whether or not that call from Marcus meant he liked me or not. *Sigh*, high school.

I ended up turning around and going right back home before my 1^st period class even started. I thought, maybe I could take the morning off and go to my afternoon classes. Like I always did when I was sick, I climbed the stairs to my mother’s room and crawled in bed beside her. My mother always made me feel better, like magic. She was up, her back resting on the headboard watching the news. She shook her head and told me “I hadn’t graduated yet and I should be in school”. I pouted, the move that an only child has perfected by the age of 3 and settled in beside her. My mother knew I wouldn’t just skive off school so, she sighed and let it go. Just as I was falling into a nice sleep, I heard my mother gasp. “Mick! Look and the TV! A plane just hit the World Trade Center!” I turned to see Good Morning America showing live footage from NYC. I asked my mom “How can a plane smash into a building like that? Don’t they have radar or something?” My mother shushed me and we continued to watch. She flipped channels to other stations reporting the same news. Out of nowhere, on live TV, my mother and I watched as the second plane hit the south tower. My world started to shatter. I remember feeling myself shake and my eyes wide enough to cause a headache. The News reporters on TV were screaming and crying. My mothers muffled sounds of “Oh My God” where barely audible to me. This was deliberate. America was being attacked.

I sat with my mother all morning watching the coverage. Next thing we hear, a plane crashed into the Pentagon. More chaos. There were reports on another plane that was taken. People were sure the plane was headed for DC.  I couldn’t believe it. It looked like some crazy disaster movie. I was waiting for Will Smith to utter some one-liner any second now. But this was real.

The main coverage stayed on the two towers. I remember the horrifying drop in my stomach watching people jump from the buildings. It scared me. “Why won’t someone help them?” I asked. My mom grabbed my hand and told me that she knew God took their souls out of their bodies before they hit the ground. “But why?” I remember asking this a lot. My mom said the only thing she could “I don’t know”.

When the South tower collapsed, my mother screamed. She started crying. I remember our phones ringing off the hook. Watching that tower fall took my breath away. Hearing the screams and seeing people running for their lives and knowing that whoever was around and in that tower… they were gone…. That feeling will never leave me. When the North tower fell, I was numb. Everything that I knew about this world fell with them. Yes, I knew there was war and that not everything was peaches and roses but, I had no idea that there was so much hatred. Enough hatred to cause something like this to happen. In school we learned about past wars in past times. I don’t know, a part of me never imagined that this could happen now. That a place as wonderful and beautiful as NYC could be harmed. That America could be a war zone. I didn’t cry that morning. I don’t think I cried at all that day.

I got in my car and drove to my afternoon class. As soon as I walked in we heard that classes were cancelled. People were crying and hugging each other. I remember a friend telling me “Isn’t it weird that it happened on 9/11? Our emergency number is 911.” Another drop in my stomach. How long had this been planned? My best friend found me outside the school and jumped in my car. She burst into tears as soon as the door closed. People were in the parking lot holding hands and comforting each other. Across the lot, a fight broke out. I don’t remember who or why and at the time I didn’t care. I just couldn’t believe that on a day like today there could be a fight. I wanted to shout at them for fighting. I wanted to tell off the people egging them on. Don’t they realize what’s going on right now? My best friend came back home with me. We sat on my floor and watched coverage for the rest of the day. I remember falling asleep and having nightmares of falling. I woke up to replays of the towers, people holding hands as they jumped to their deaths… The Pentagon and the plane crashing in Pennsylvania… the one heading to DC. I couldn’t take my eyes away. I didn’t eat dinner that night. Couldn’t. I don’t know what happened the next day. I don’t remember if we had school or the next day reactions on the news. But, I do remember every second of 9/11. I never got to tell my best friend that story. I’ve forgotten what it was about.

 Last night I went out on the roof of my Brooklyn Apt and stared at the Manhattan skyline. It was beautiful. Clear and sparkling with lights. Over on the left I saw two extraordinary beams of light. Those lights are the tribute lights for the two towers that fell. The shot up into the sky...up, up and away as if shining into space. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. That’s where the towers would have been in my view. If they were still here. I sat on my roof and stared at them. Ten years later, I finally cried. I watched those lights and the skyline for two hours. Then, they just disappeared. Nothing.

No matter what your politics are or your opinion when it comes to how others are running this country, I know you all were affected by what happened 10 years ago. If I have learned anything from that day it’s to live life to your fullest, and love completely. Little things, they will always matter because we’re human and we can’t help it. But, don’t let it take over your life. Live. Live as much as you can without regret. Do something today. Anything that makes you feel alive. I’m going to hang with the people I love. Even though police are everywhere in NYC and people are especially nervous and suspicious, I am going to get on that subway, go hang with my friends and Live. I cannot be afraid. And you should not be afraid to live either. Until next time… kisses, hugs, and high fives.

XOXO,

  The girl who thanks God everyday for the people in her life.