So, lady (and I use that term loosely) #1 and lady #2 are fighting over the sad male figure standing in the middle. I'm pretty sure his name is Lexington (because that's all the "ladies" kept shouting... "Lexington is mine!" "F*ck you ho! You don't know nothin' bout me and Lexington!") Business started getting real when lady #2 threw her boot at lady #1, hitting Lexington in the process. Now keep in mind that all of this was going on while the melancholy sounds of "My Heart Will Go On" floats through my earbuds. "I will f*ck you up b*tch!"........ "Near, far... wherever you are"..........."Well bring it then! C'mon b*tch!".............. "You are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and oooooonnnnnnnnnnnn." As I turned to walk away from the fight club I couldn't help but think... "Welcome back to New York Makia!" *Sigh* It's good to be home.
2014!!! I don't know about you but, I'm super excited. There's just something so amazing about entering a new year. It's like starting a new novel. A 365 page mysterious adventure. Yeah, you know the basic plot points but the twists and turns and memorable phrases are still ahead, waiting to be read. I spent most 2013's final days eagerly awaiting the approach of January. 2013 was such an interesting year for me. It was equally and difficult as it was amazing. I made new friends, got an agent, had a crush, laugh till I cried and cried until I couldn't do anything but laugh. I encountered both life's treasures and tests. Some tests I passed with flying colors and others I had to fail a few times before learning. I felt the heartache of rejection and the soaring feeling of acceptance. It was... quiet a year. One that I will look back on fondly. But, I also feel like it was preparing me for something. Maybe one day when someone looks to me for advice about going through hard times, I can tell them "You will make it." I can give them advice based off of experience and not just my unbroken optimism. Who knows. Who indeed knows.
This week, I was asked to imagine myself as an old lady on a mountain top. Peaceful and calm and looking back on her life. What would she say to me? What advice would she give me about going into 2014? The first thing I immediately noticed about my future old lady self was hope at peaceful. The second thing I noticed was that my old lady self was a true smart ass and she was A-ok with that. She pretty much laughed at my present 29 year old self, shaking her head like "Kid, it's all going to be a grand adventure. One day, you'll be me, hanging on a mountain top, listening to Fleetwood Mac, sipping on spirits and relaxing. I loved this visual exercise and I think it's something that will stay with me. A kind of "What Would Old Lady You Do?" I've already asked myself that a few times this week. Apparently, old lady me is as fearless as gladiator with a mouth like a pirate and a heart big enough to love the world. That's what I eventually want to get to. So, looking at things from that perspective has me gearing up for all kinds of leaps this year.
Right now, my old lady self is giving me advice on how to survive the snowy, cold winter of NYC. Seriously. I'm pretty sure God gave me a break my first couple of NYC winters. They were like a lovely summer's day compared to this polar explosion. I'm not sure i've ever experienced -20 degree weather. Sadly, I can now mark that off the bucket list. So, what does old lady Kiki have to say about getting through the cold, Big Apple winter? So glad you asked!
6 Tips For Surviving Mr. Freezes Attack On NYC
1). Who care's how cute your outfit is! Bundle up you foul fool!! Nobody likes frostbite of the ass!
-Seriously. It's cold out. Stop with all this tiny jacket nonsense when you got out at night. Everyone will be able to see you righteous ensemble when you get in the bar, ok? Outside the bar, everyone is just too busy trying to avoid frozen eyeballs.
2). Jack Frost is a tease. Jack Daniels is the one who will keep you warm tonight. But don't have to much of JD either or he'll become a real headache.
-Hot Toddy. Say it with me everyone.... Hot Toddy.
3). When life gives you snow... make a snow angel
-Busting you fanny can be a bit of a drag. But, don't be embarrassed! Everyone wipes out at least once in NYC right. So, if you happen to fall in the snow, why not take advantage on your horizontalness. Make a snow angel! That way your annoying situation can make you and someone else smile. Or, if you are a real boss, you can play off your fall as a "I meant to do that" type thing.
4). Tip your delivery guy!!!
If you are going to order food in this crazy cold weather, tip the delivery guy! And make it a good tip!! Don't be lazy and cheap at the same time ok? Now if you have a reason (it was late, the order was wrong) ok... understandable. But if everything runs smoothly and that person is bringing you sesame chicken during a blizzard.... They have a frozen nose! The least you can do is give them a decent tip. You don't want that special place in Hell reserved for you... do you?
5). Leave earlier. You may not have a spot on the subway car the first go around.
-Morning traffic on the subway is already a comedy. You usually end up smushed next to someone you don't know, counting down the stops until you can get off. The winter is no different and has the added bonus of winter gear involved. You think it's hard to get on a crowded train now, imagine all those people wearing 3 times the clothes along with a huge sleeping bag like coat on top. You remember Ralphie's brother on "A Christmas Story"? Yeah, a train full of people, no one can put their arms down. So just leave a little earlier. That way you won't be late and pissed off if you miss a train.
6). Pay attention to what lies beneath the surface.
-So, in the spirit of taking my old lady's advice, I happily made a snow angel in the park the other day. When I got up, I saw that my pretty angel wing was smeared with brown. I then, with fear and trepidation, looked at my sleeve and noticed a half frozen log of poop stuck to it. Snow angel : FAIL. So, what can we learn from this kids? If you are going to play in the snow remember that there could be dog doodie under the beautiful blanket of white winter wonderland. My ultimate fear is that it didn't come from a dog. *Sigh* but we won't think about that right now.
Bonus tip: Donate, donate, donate!!!!
- If you are able to give, there are amazing coat and blanket drives out there. I am so thankful that I have a place that's warm to go home to. Other's don't. Giving an old coat or blanket may not seem like the answer but, it's a start. It can help. So, look up local drives and try to give if you can. Sorry if this is preachy.
Love always,
The girl who's on a journey
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